Hello, lovely people! Monday we had our ~16 week appointment {I’m 16+5 today}. It went just like it needed to. Praise Jesus! One I guess perk, if you’d call it that, of IVF is a LOT of ultrasounds. We’ve actually had 4 so far. But Monday it was just a doppler reading. Because I had a pretty terrible dream Saturday night, my nerves were extra high as my OB put the gel on my stomach. The phrase I’ve repeated throughout the last 4 months has been ‘Your will be done’ and that’s exactly what I said as she put the doppler onto the gel. Thankfully we could hear a heart beat almost immediately. And then I think I finally exhaled for the first time all morning. Today I’m officially 17 weeks. YAY! So a few weeks into my second trimester, I thought I’d recap my first 13 weeks…

Symptoms

Well the first trimester felt like 3 very different stages. The first stage (transfer – 5.5 weeks) I felt some fatigue, some mild cramping and had one VERY intense headache. I mean so bad I thought my head was going to pop off. But otherwise, I just felt like myself. Of course I had cut out caffeine – personal decision – and swapped out some various beauty & cleaning products, but for the most part it was business as usual.

Then stage 2 hit…lets say weeks 5.5 – 9. Naps were a daily must. Like I could not function for more than about 5 hours at a time. Around 12:30-1pm every day, yes work days included, I’d have to lay down. And the weirdest part was I’d fall asleep EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even if it was for just 12 minutes. So odd. But I seriously could not NOT nap. The nausea hit then too. Not morning sickness, think allllllll the live long day. And the aversions. LOL to being repulsed by even a Starbucks commercial. Legit I could not even LOOK at an iced coffee without gagging. Same for chocolate in nearly every form. So unlike me. Mild, random headaches would hit too. But luckily my chiropractor seemed to be able to clear most of those.

And then there was stage 3. Week 10 – the end of 13. The tiredness seemed to fade slightly, meaning a nap was only needed like 75% of my days. But I was still ready for bed by 8pm it seemed like. The nausea then turned to evening sickness. The clock would hit about 4pm and I basically couldn’t choke down more than 5 bites of dinner. It was a constant state of ‘I want to puke but I refuse to puke.’ Aversions continued. Which in reality probably saved us a good chunk of money. So that’s a win!

Cravings? Honestly no. Which was fine by me. I always had pickle spears, string cheese and some sort of fruit juice on hand though. Because for some reason those 3 things I’ve been able to stomach the entire pregnancy thus far. And Louisiana Hot Sauce. Seriously I’ve been drinking that stuff. Also, I’ve never thrown up. Thank goodness, because I truly have a major fear of it. No acid reflux, heartburn or much for insomnia either. Luckily sleep has been good so far too! A big first trimester recap positive for sure.

Physical Changes

HOLY CRAP I HAVE BOOBS. I’m sorry, but I’ve never had these before. And it’s great. But also incredibly odd. Like cleavage? What the heck is that!? I have it now though! Haven’t had to size up in bras yet though so that’s nice. My boobs were also super sore from about weeks 4-8. Now I think they’re growth has slowed some. While my weight started to slowly increase starting around week 8, my stomach was still fully ‘suck-in-able’ until about week 12. That’s when I started to notice a little low bump trying to appear. But really only at night.

Another positive physical change – clearer skin. Not here to jinx myself but I haven’t had a single zit or problem area on my face since week 6. And by the time we graduated from the IVF clinic (9+1) and I stopped taking progesterone shots, the uneven skin tone I had been noticing on my right cheekbone area went away. A less fun physical experience – ITCHY SKIN. Uhmmmm no one told me about this one. I’d wake up in the middle of the night so itchy. And that’s weird for me because I literally put lotion on my entire body in the morning and before bed.

I’ll dive into this more on a dedicated First Trimester Recap – Workout Edition blog post coming soon, but physically it was important to me to keep up with my workouts. And I can honestly say that I never missed a single one in the first trimester. Every day I moved my body in the way I intended to. Modified at times? Absolutely. But movement nonetheless. One odd physical experience in the first trimester, especially between about week 6-9, was higher heart rate while working out. It seemed up spike quick but then even out. So I really kept a close eye on that and watched for any dizziness or imbalances.

Mental Changes

Pretty sure this could be an entire blog post. And if enough of y’all are interested, maybe I will dive much deeper into this. First off, let me start by saying the amount of gratitude I feel to be in the second trimester of a pregnancy is immense. I feel blessed beyond measure and am eternally grateful for everything we’ve experienced so far. With that being said, that gratitude has not come without an extreme amount of anxiety, fear, worry and ‘what if’ kind of thinking.

After struggling with so much loss it feels nearly impossible to get excited out of fear that there’s just another heartbreak around the corner. With each appointment we’ve had, I truly walk in feeling like I can’t breathe. I swear there is no exhale until a heart beat as been heard or the doctor says ‘everything looks good.’ Fear is not from God, it’s clearly from the devil. God wants us to have a spirit of hope and I know that. But I’d be lying if I said that was easy after what we’ve walked through to get here. I’m sure that even after, God-willing, a safe delivery, the worry will morph from worry about a healthy pregnancy to worry about keeping what we’ve been blessed with safe.

On the vain side of things, I’ve mentally struggled with watching the scale rise. And seeing myself thicken up. But I know that my body is doing what it needs to and I have to trust that. Yet I still find myself freaked out when I look in the mirror. Maybe when the bump looks more bump-like and gives off less middle-aged beer belly vibes, I’ll be more comfortable? I hope so. I know I’m exercising and eating properly so weight gain shouldn’t concern me. But it still does. And I hate to admit that I see ‘fat Kristin’ and not ‘pregnant Kristin’ right now. I’m so thankful that Kyle is so encouraging with everything and constantly reminds me that I’m growing life inside of me. And apparently he still thinks I’m pretty, so that’s nice 🙂

Remedies

LOL can I say none? I mean I truly tried everything for my nausea: preggie pops, Pink Stork morning sickness candies, old school Life Savers mints (the blue bag), lime tonic water from Trader Joe’s, peppermint tea, the juice from canned peaches, pickles…you name it, I tried it. The ONLY thing that may have helped a tiny bit were THESE Stomach Settle Drops. I gagged at the taste of ginger so nothing ginger-y worked. Luckily those stomach settle things didn’t really taste too bad. Random things seemed to work for a few days and then their effectiveness wore off and I couldn’t look at them again.

Luckily sleep did help – so once I went to bed, I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night with any issues. And it sounds odd but foot massages seemed to make me feel better. I’m sure Kyle was thrilled about that. But he never once complained when I’d ask if he’d rub my feet and calves. Stretching I found also helped. Maybe? I have a hard time if something was really a remedy or it was just good enough that it took my mind off feeling like I wanted to puke.

Purchases

Going back to the anxiety thing…we really haven’t purchased anything. Thankfully my mom + sisters are having fun ordering things in the meantime 🙂 I did buy the Snuggle Me Organic lounger (because they had a sale about a month ago and I really, really wanted the moss green color that was sold out everywhere), this storage basket, and these Freshly Picked moccasins in a gender neutral color. With us headed to Texas next week to spend Thanksgiving with my family, we plan to go to IKEA to check out the crib I’m eyeing + a dresser I really like. I’m thinking once we have our anatomy scan on December 13, and if things are progressing properly, we’ll begin a registry and start stroller/car seat shopping. Everyone is very opinionated on the best brands, must-have items, etc. But I’m looking forward to deciding all of that ON MY OWN haha…

Final Recap

Ok so by no means am I an expert in anything. Nor do I feel like I am. I am constantly learning new things every day. Legit I read articles, blog posts and books regularly to find out how I can make this the healthiest pregnancy possible. Two things I know for sure though… 1) God is in the driver’s seat of this journey and 2) I’ll take every symptom, anxious thought and pound of weight gain if it brings us to our ultimate dream of becoming parents. It’s surreal to think that I’ve just entered week 17 of pregnancy and it’s not lost on me that there were many years that I was unsure if I’d ever get to this point. If that’s you – I see you. I’m praying for you and all I can say is do not give up hope.

If you’ve made it to the end of this longest-blog-post-of-my-life, well thank you. I appreciate you. And you following along with us on this bumpy road means the world. Oh and if you’d like to send up an extra prayer tonight, pray that this week’s ‘large onion’ continues to grow as they should!

· xox, Kristin ·