So I contemplated calling this Monday Musings – Vol 32 something different. Monday Mind Dump instead. Because I feel like I have a million things to say. But I won’t do that to y’all. And I want to at least keep things somewhat light and not as ‘complain-y’ as my mood is. Last week was just one of those weeks where EVERYTHING was piling up: huge work projects, content deadlines, you name it. When it rains it pours of course. But I tried to not let it stress me out too much. Which in turn almost stressed me out more. And so spawns the vicious cycle of trying to do it all, always, on my own. Being a Type A, enneagram 8 is super great at times! 😉 Enough those, let’s dive into Monday Musings – Vol 32 and try to liven up the beginning of the week!

An IVF Update…

We’ll just get right to this first. After nearly 4 weeks of my HCG being below a 5 and almost 9 weeks to the day of our ‘you’re losing this pregnancy call,’ I got my period. FINALLY. Saturday morning it showed up. And I’ve never been happier to have back cramps + a splitting headache. I was finally able to call the clinic and proclaim ‘today is DAY 1 of bright red bleeding!‘ And sorry for the overshare, but y’all are in it. Some of you have been around since I opened up about our struggles back in 2016. Others of you just began following along in January when the IVF process began. So that means I know {most} of you want the unfiltered, unapologetic side of this infertility journey. So that’s what I’m here to give.

And now the new process begins… I am scheduled for a new sonohysterogram and a full panel of labs (thyroid, prolocatin, etc.) at 7:30am on Thursday. So if you pray, please pray this sono isn’t nearly as painful as my last one. It was really terrible. From there, we’ll see if anything is different/off/looks out of the ordinary. And we’re going to forgo the Receptiva Biopsy at the moment — I spent a long time on the phone this morning w/ my doctor about that. But know we feel 100% confident/comfortable with. In a way, we’re back to square one. On the flip side, none of this is in our hands anyway. God’s got it. Even if I want to scream WHY or WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS. He’s still got it. When results come back, we’ll set plans from there…

A mental health update…

How am I doing? Uhmmm not entirely well. Work has been stressing me out in a way it hasn’t throughout the 3.5 years I’ve been in my role. The blog/IG gig is busier than ever, which has been an incredible blessing. But it’s also slightly overwhelming at times paired with a full-time gig. Our bank account continues to take blows as appointments/etc. come back with denied insurance coverage because we ‘elected’ to have said appointments. Ya know, since we CHOSE this infertility thing. Upcoming 1st birthdays over the next 6ish weeks is hitting me hard. Excitement & love can also parallel grief & pain simultaneously. And then I feel like a horrible aunt for being jealous of the 3 sweetest little ones. What is supposed to be hot girl summer has felt more like summertime sadness to an extent.

The highs have been high, the lows very low. Over the last few months I felt like I could easily blame all the random hormones being injected into me. But my body is cleared of everything right now. And the funk still seems to linger. I know I should be thankful for what I have instead of dwelling on what we don’t. Although I am, I can’t help but feel waves of struggle. If this low season has been teaching me one thing, it’s that I can’t do it all alone. And while asking for help or letting things out as soon as they effect me isn’t my strong suit, I am trying. Because they said it takes a village to raise a child. But I think I need that village NOW. To help me while that is still yet a dream.

And on a more positive note…

The Outdoor Date cards Kyle bought us for our anniversary have been a hit! So far we’re 2/2 in 2 weeks of loving the card we drew. I picked first and we ended up playing mini golf with the loser owing the winner a foot massage. And we should’ve stopped after 9 holes because I would’ve won. But of course I didn’t. On Saturday it was Kyle’s turn to pick and we ended up at a new {to us} winery. Breezy Hills in Minden was ADORABLE. We did a 5 wine tasting and then ordered lemon drop + peach bellini slushies afterwards. It’ll definitely be on our list to go back to. So if you’re looking to switch things up you absolutely need to order these $17 date cards. Because we don’t have much else to do, we’re drawing weekly but you can easily do 2x/month or monthly even!

Random Ramblings…

• I’ve had a MAJOR craving for cold pasta salad lately so I made some this afternoon between Zoom calls! No fancy recipe, sorry. I truly just do whatever noodles I have & dump in some veggies. Pepperonis too because Kyle requests them. But my not-so-secret secret addition: Olive Garden’s Italian dressing. GAME CHANGER. Oh & of course I top with feta.
• The Opalhouse x Jungalow collab at Target is amazing and I literally want everything. But buying ‘everything’ isn’t exactly in budget. So I’m narrowing my picks. Below are the pieces I’m loving:

• Currently trying to figure out how to fit a Peloton Bike in our budget. That’s it. That is the random rambling. I want a REAL Peloton. So if you’re upgrading yours or just don’t use it, I’ll buy it today.
• Weekly Meal Plan
  • Meatless Monday – Spicy Black Bean Burgers + Pasta Salad & Broccoli from our garden
  • Tuesday – Grilled Salmon w/ Pineapple BBQ salsa + asparagus
  • Wednesday – Chicken BLT Salads
  • Thursday – Smashed Burgers w/ grilled cauliflower
  • Friday – back to Kyle’s parents!
• Started It Ends With Us yesterday afternoon and COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN. I actually got 81 pages in before I even read the back to cover to see what the story line was about LOL. Oops! My sister loved it so I had her send it to me. Definitely finishing it but currently it’s a 10/10 recommend for me! Trigger warning: there are some graphic scenes so it’s not for younger people.

· xox, Kristin ·