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Finding legit friends is HARD!

Seriously…no one ever tells you that once you grow up, finding legit girl friends is tough the hardest thing ever. My core group of lovely ladies from my days at Iowa State are my lifers. I know that no matter how many weeks or months pass between actually seeing them in person, we can instantly pick up right where we left off. Between working, doing things around the house, etc. your time to go out and invest in solid friendships once your ‘younger’ days are over is limited. Plus there is a fine line between finding fun girls to grab a drink with and those who are genuine, awesome people who you can actually do life with. Sure when I’m struggling I can always pick up the phone and call my bestest & oldest friends, Brittany and Chelsea, to vent to or ask for guidance but sometimes I sincerely need some face-to-face time with another, non-related female. Since moving to Omaha, I never really went out of my way to generate long-standing friendships. I was working 55+ hours/week, had Kyle as my roomie and thought some of the girls I was working with at the time were my ‘friends.’ That word is in quotes because I learned most of them were not the types of friends I wanted or needed in my life. Then my sister Haley moved in with us and I have a built-in buddy to do everything with, so no need to cultivate any relationships because she was here! 🙂 Eventually Haley would move out a year and a half later and gone was my errand-running/clothes sharing/venting outlet. Not long after she left I began to struggle with the need for a friend but I also was exhausted at the end of the work day and with the amount of traveling we did/do on the weekends, I just never felt like I had time to go join a small group or commit to anything where there was a potential to meet some gal pals. There was such a pulling on my heart to get it together. I was lonely but not in the way most people think of being lonely…I had Kyle {& Beckett!} who was and is always willing to go on a coffee run, hit the grocery store with me and see an afternoon movie but my loneliness came from wanting someone who was going through the same point in life as me, in the SAME city.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

This verse kept popping up on me late last Fall. In the most random of times and situations. I started praying for a true ‘friend.’ Some things are just ‘God things’ I think and this was one of them because in late December I got an email from a girl, and fellow Omaha blogger at Sweet and Modern, named Gina who let me know she found my blog and wanted to just say hello and introduce herself. Little did she know {after I stalked her blog & Facebook a bit ;-)} I would take that simple email and run with it. I took a leap of faith that she was as normal & sweet as she appeared online and asked if she would want to grab coffee/wine after the craziness of the holidays died down. She kindly agreed and a month later we met up for happy hour. {OMGSH, Gina is probably cringing at this point because it sounds like a damn first date. Oh well!!!} After I got home that evening Kyle asked me how drinks were and I’m pretty sure I cried and declared that ‘I have finally found a FRIEND!’

Gina has been a saint.

No joke, this girl is the real deal, genuinely awesome friend that I needed in my life. She’s instantly become someone that I send a text to when I need to vent or need advice or have a makeup/beauty-related question. She encouraged me throughout my entire job search process, sat front row with me during Omaha Fashion Week, and is always up for wine, coffee, or Barre classes. Gina also knows about our current infertility struggles and how crappy my work life was in the Spring. I love that we have insanely hectic schedules between the both of us and that that is ok. Some friendships seem to need constant reassurance but we both know how busy the other is and we plan pedicure dates {or Cycling classes like we did last night!} whenever we get the chance.

I know this post is way more ‘personal’ than most of mine are but I felt compelled to share. Female friendships are as necessary for our personal & spiritual growth as they are for our sanity! I’ve finally become content with having a fewer, stronger friendships than an array of surface-level ones. All that being said, how have YOU ladies been able to create new friendships as adults? Have you joined specific groups or organizations to help foster relationships? I’d love to hear! **Also, I would like to say THANK YOU to all my amazing Style Collective & blogging girlfriends! If only you all lived closer because that would literally make my year! And also, thank you to my friend/neighbor Emily. She doesn’t have a blog so I can’t link y’all to her but she’s also been an awesome sounding board and friend for the last 3.5 years! She knows exactly how to respond when I need fertility advice or to bitch about fireworks or for a good recipe!**